


Alone Time

by ElZacharie



Series: Drabbles [18]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Coitus Interruptus, Dirty Thoughts, Gen, Humor, Kinda, Masturbation, Shouldn't really be tagged Explicit but it's definitely not Mature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 17:32:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5300423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElZacharie/pseuds/ElZacharie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Church finally gets some alone time during the zombie apocalypse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone Time

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Immune to Your Bullshit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3711541) by [HappyFunBallXD](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyFunBallXD/pseuds/HappyFunBallXD). 



> ive been having sad thoughts about writing a fic in this verse where tex dies while carrying church's baby and he tries to starve/get himself killed so i wrote this

Nobody wanted the zombie apocalypse to happen less than Leonard L. Church, Jr. Sure, he was a giant ball of hate weighing in at 134 pounds and 5'5", but that didn't mean he wanted the fucking world to end. As annoying as society could be, he rather enjoyed not running for his life, drinking coffee, and masturbating whenever he wanted.

Church wasn't sure how long it'd been since he'd had a proper wank-- Tex wasn't fond of the idea of having sex around Caboose, since he had no fucking clue how it worked, but there was also the fact she was a screamer; not good when you're trying to hide from flesh-eating assholes. She was too proud to give him a blowjob, too, so that was completely out of the question.

So when he saw the giant, fortified safehouse, long since abandoned by its previous owners, his day immediately got brighter. Not only would there be supplies and working showers, but separate rooms, which meant Church could jerk off in peace.

While Tex and Caboose took care of the zombies milling around the perimeter, he sought out the master bedroom, almost bursting into tears when he found out the bed was a temperpedic with silk sheets. God had truly blessed him today.

He stripped out of his dirty clothes and took a running jump onto the bed, groaning once he made contact with the heavenly pillows. He ran his hands along the embroidery, almost teasingly, before he flipped onto his back and spit into his hands.

The moment Church had a hand on his cock, it was immediately standing at attention, precum beading at the tip. He swirled his thumb across the slip, groaning softly. Fuck, he wasn't going to last long at all.

He let himself fall into the wonderful rhythm, fucking up into his hand, his mind focused on his lovers. Church was so caught up in the sensations, however, that he didn't register the door open and a sharp gasp.

No, he was too busy thinking about how beautiful Tex looked even when she was covered in dirt, grime, and dried blood, how hot it would be to see her riding his cock right now, ponytail bouncing with every thrust.

Perhaps Caboose could join them, even-- the man was well-endowed, that was for damn sure. Who knew what could happen with him in bed?

"Caboose..." Church moaned softly, squeezing his shaft.

"Yes, Church?" a voice immediately piped up, sounding both hopeful and unsure.

Church's eyes flew open, landing on the man standing in the doorway, and shrieked. Pillows flew threw the air, landing nowhere near their intended target.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE, CABOOSE!?"

The large man blushed and played with his fingers, looking down at Church's still erect cock-- he wished he'd at least saved one pillow to cover himself up. "Tex wanted me to come get you so we could make dinner..."

Tex ran into the room, pushing Caboose out of the way, a bewildered look on her face. It took her a moment to take in the situation, her eyes growing even wider when she saw his still exposed.

"Caboose," she whispered, voice strained. "We should leave Church to his... alone time."

Caboose nodded, not moving an inch.

"And Church? I don't want this to happen again-- got it?"


End file.
